The Weekly Wang: Absurd BirdBy Nick Horowitz
I’m sorry. The Weekly Wang has gone and a done a KFC. FCK.
A wing review space without any wing reviews: it’s not ideal. And I owe you, my fellow poultry aficionados, a huge apology.
It’s been a hell of a few months with Brexit and all but that should never, ever, stop the flow of fresh wing reviews. If anything, such a situation actually requires more reviews so we can all go lose ourselves in a bucket full of buffalo goodness.
So in order to rectify this, I present the 13th Weekly Wang. Lucky for some, and lucky for you, since this Weekly Wang sees us pull up at one of London’s favourites out of the archives. Absurd Bird take it away.
Absurd Bird: The Facts
Name: Absurd Bird
Opening Hours: Monday-Sunday (11am-11pm)
Time of Visit: Friday; 7:30pm
Weather: A warm winter’s day. The kind I used to think were rare in the UK…
Wing of Choice: Buffalo Chicken Wings and Xtreem Hot (combinations of 4,8,12 or 24)
Absurd Bird: The Ratings
Presentation: Four wings arrived in a compact metal dish. They were barely covered in sauce. Can you tell I was disappointed?
Temperature and Texture: Upon arrival, these wings were way too hot to handle. Yeah, too hot to handle. So I had to leave them on plate for some time. Oh cruel mistress.
Nonetheless, when I could finally get to grips with them, I found the wings’ exterior to be extremely crunchy. I later learned that this was down to the fact that Absurd Bird double fry their wings. No wonder they put Deep South in their description. Just don’t tell your heart.
Size: These wings were huge or are on a ‘peng level’, as some in the industry might remark. In fact, the size of these wings were so abnormal that it played on my mind for days. Where these wings from some new generation of genetically modified chicken or have I been eating dodgy small birds all my life and been brainwashed into thinking these were the norm?! A real weekend mind f***.
Flavour: The buffalo sauce was very sharp: I loved the acidity levels of them but it’s certainly not for all. The quality of chicken meat underneath was generally good. The meat, moist (a word I hate to use but needed), and the Absurd Bird spice seasoning found in the batter around it was a revelation.
Heat: The Xtreem hot wings were a ‘bead of sweat’ hot. In that, they’re the kind of wing that slowly induces one bead upon your forehead, that then goes on to slowly trickle down before landing on the table awkwardly. The Buffalo sauce was warming – perfect for these upcoming winter nights.
Accessories: You have to pay for dips and sauces…
In this day and age, you’d have thought they’d wiped out this shoddy practice but low and behold it lives on. Like spending an extra £3 to get 3D glasses to watch a 3D film. It’s a blatant crime, and should never happen. That aside, the blue cheese dip we ordered was strange; it was too subtle when tasted alone to be enjoyable, but worked well in harmony with the wing.
Cost: Wings cost anywhere between £1.60-1.17 each depending on the combination you choose. This price point puts these wings in a premium territory. Saying that, Wednesday is clearly the night to go, when you can get bottomless wings for £12. Now that’s a deal.
Extra: A nice extra touch were the plentiful supply of Absurd Bird’s own branded wet wipes; aptly named ‘Wipe It’. For those who prefer dry though, there were also lots of napkins. Water was brought on request. It wasn’t iced…
Another point of contention was the lack of a discard bin. I know I keep banging on the drum about this (#safespace) but it’s a very important issue. During the meal, my plate got messier and messier, and as it did, wing bones started to fly all over the place. It wasn’t pleasant. No wonder people go vegan.
Absurd Bird: The Bottom Line
The Justin Trudeau of Wings. An accessible wing for the masses, that still has personality.
Note: The manager of this establishment deserves a special mention. We found him to be a real gentleman and he certainly made our experience at Absurd Bird even more enjoyable.
Absurd Bird, 25 Peter St, Soho, London W1F 0AH
Header Image Credit: Jenni Sparks