The Weekly Wang: Five Tips for Tackling National Wing DayBy Nick Horowitz
Finally, the powers that be/some random marketeers have recognised the crucial part that the small, but mighty wing plays in our society, by honouring it with its own day. Huzza.
Joining the ranks of Mother’s day, Christmas and National Hug Day, National Wing Day (NWD) on Thursday 22nd March is a chance for us to gather together – irrespective of our backgrounds – so that we may celebrate the cultural significance of the wing and its vital role in keeping the peace.
However, since NWD only occurs once a year, it’s all too easy for people to get overexcited and ruin the opportunity that the day presents (i.e. eating wings for a solid twelve hours) by making a number of rookie mistakes. Here are my top five tips to make sure this doesn’t happen to you.
1. Don’t Eat Too Fast
In order to consume their body weight in chicken, many people get it into their heads that they need to make room the day before, by not eating. Don’t be this guy/girl.
If anything, the opposite is true, and you’ll want to prepare the stomach for what is to come by consuming a number of light meals (five to six) across the day. This way your stomach will be in a nice and relaxed state, and won’t be shocked into submission when ninety kilograms of sweet, sweet chicken suddenly arrives on its doorstep. Think of it as the stretch before the race: don’t starve and shrink – your stomach will never forgive you.
2. Wear Loose, Comfortable Clothing
Talking of races, NWD is a marathon, not a sprint. Subsequently, you’ll want to be as comfortable as you can be at all times. As a result, wear clothing that’s non-restrictive, stretchy and breathable.
Don’t worry if this means you won’t be looking your finest. After all, NWD is a safe space. A chance to look average, get messy and not be judged by those around you. Trust me. No one is going to care about how you look. Instead, impress them with many wings you can take down because you’ve got your Lulu sweats on.
3. Be Efficient with Your Beer Consumption
There’s no doubt that a cold beer is a great accompaniment to a plate of warm buffalo wings. However, sometimes, the former is too good a companion. And when this happens, there’s a danger of the main star of the show being pushed into the shadows.
To avoid this, buy a can of beer at each venue (obviously in this day and age it will be a craft beer) instead of a pint – and keep water at the ready. Subsequently, when you hit that spicy wing, you won’t ruin your appetite by impulsively necking your beer at great speed.
4. Nothing New. Only Tried and True.
It’s taken months and months of arduous preparation to get you to this day. You’ve perfected your buffalo palate, ‘wishboning’ technique and eye for crispy wings, to make sure you’re as ready as you can be. Therefore, why would you now want to go and throw all that hardwork and dedication away by trying something new on the day; something that’s clearly outside of the comfort zone?
I’m not talking about new flavour combinations here. Those are always worth trying. Instead, I am talking about heat levels. Now is not the time to go for the super hot naga Dutch chilli wing on the menu, when you’ve been dealing with medium originals all year. We really don’t want to see you writhing in pain on your chair, in an uncontrollably sweaty mess, as your friends toss milk over you. It’s not a pleasant sight for anyone.
Note: if you do want to risk it, do so at the end of the evening, and definitely only start with a bite of one hot wing to see how you react before finishing off a basket of them.
5. Take Friends
There is no better day to hang out with friends and have in-depth conversations; wings are their to be shared. Take as many people as you can along for the ride. It’s definitely worth a holiday day. You won’t regret it.
Checkout www.nationalwingday.co.uk to find your nearest wing venues, 50% wing discount vouchers and much more.